Gridlock

It’s not that I want you to die
Your ride just can’t live any more
Maybe you’ll learn watching your wheels burn
That you drive like a contemptible whore

You chill when I’ve got places to be
Got places to be when I want to chill
Seem to take glee in inconveniencing me
Who does 15 going down a hill?

Why the left lane when you’re not going fast?
Since you’ve been there no cars have been passed
Not sure how much longer my patience will last
If only I had phasers, you’d be gone in a blast

Please say you’re kidding, that’s not how you merge
Tentative like a nerd on prom night
Wonder what the perks are of owning a smart car
When the driver is clearly not bright

Oh sweet, more roadwork, it’s my lucky day
Next five miles will be a ball
To build a thoroughfare that needs so much care
Defeats the point of building one at all

Don’t tease me bro, quit touching those brakes
There’s nothing in front of you, this light we can make
If you just keep on moving, just what will it take?
Have mercy, do the speed limit and ease this heartache

In the end this is probably my fault
A smart one would leave the Beltway alone
When the traffic report makes the world news sound short
That should be the cue to stay home

That’s about all the rhyming this drained brain can store
In the words of the Raven I ‘quoth’, “Nevermore!”
Just one quick reminder, sure I said it before
If you do one thing in life, don’t drive like a whore.